I had an epiphany this morning! No doubt, it was already rumbling around in my head, but today, I was finally able to verbalize it. It happened when my husband thanked me for taking care of him. Can I tell you, that is one of my favorite things in the world to do.
Rich had surgery earlier this week to repair an umbilical hernia, the hernia wasn’t new, it’s been hanging around for years, but he finally decided it was time to repair it. That had a lot to do with the amount of weight he has lost in the last year, the hernia no longer had the padding around it and was becoming uncomfortable. This surgery is done all over the country on a daily basis, but that didn’t stop me from worrying. In fact, I have come to the conclusion that I am a world class worrier. While this surgery was minor by most standards, it was huge to me. This man is my world.
Now I don’t mean that in the sense that I don’t have an identity without him, it’s just that we have intertwined our lives so completely that without him and our offroad career, I have no home, no job, no family (no offense to my kids), no friends. I know I can make more, but this is the lifestyle we have chosen together and I love that. Several times this year, we have talked about retiring, it always comes back to….but, I love our family!
So back to my epiphany, when you are young and in a relationship, oftentimes you are keeping score, who does what for whom. If I do the dishes, he should do the laundry, if I put the kids to bed, he should do …, there is always a score. What a mistake that is!
As Rich thanked me this morning, I realized that I get as much pleasure out of taking care of him as he does. I look for ways to do things for him, which focuses me on looking for ways to do things for others too. This is the take away, if you are working for others, you don’t have time or energy to be jealous or disappointed when someone doesn’t do something for you. How much more positive is life like this!