I made that second phone call today (see What’s it All About), to a guy that always made me smile, John was one of those people that was always on the periphery of my work life. We worked together, kinda, but not in the same place or even for the same company exactly. I think I felt an affinity for him because he worked hard but never took life too seriously. We both knew this was the game we played so we could enjoy the rest of our life. He’s still in the game, I’ve relinquished my starting role. Please understand, I loved my job while I was doing it, but I’ve found I don’t miss it. I was lucky to have found a place where I was appreciated and allowed to work really hard and rewarded for it. It’s not until you leave that you can take a more philosophical approach to it. Thanks John for the smile again today.
We are finally on the road again and last night had dinner, drinks and shared a hot tub with some racing friends. We see him more than we see her, but that’s typical of racers. Because in addition to being a race wife, she has a job, the kind like I had, all encompassing. My generation of women has been taught that you have to do it all, be a wife, a mother, an executive, and you have to do it without help. Whoever promoted the “Supermom” concept should be shot…just sayin’. We had feminists telling us we can have any job we want, others telling us to excel at being a wife and mother, no one said anything about the time and demands that all of those things have.
My mom stayed at home, she was good at that, seriously, as a kid, I never wanted for anything, she volunteered, she was the ultimate officer’s wife, she did it all and I respected her for it. Enter the new age when women can be more easily successful outside the home and I wanted to follow that path, but I wanted to be like my mom, too. It’s too much. The guilt we feel when we aren’t there to pick up the kids after school, the cupcakes that don’t get made, the trip you don’t chaperone, the meals you don’t cook, and add to that the humiliation when you have to ask your husband (the father of your kids) to do something you think is on your list of things to do. Women of the world…we have to get over this. Whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom – it’s ok, whether you have paid help in the home or ask your husband for help – it’s ok. We have to stop believing that we HAVE to do it all ourselves, if for no other reason than to be able to enjoy the life that we have.
When they say life is too short, they aren’t kidding, find what you love, be with who you love and LIVE.